The Story of a Girl Who Grew into a Goddess

She was born pure MAGIC. ✨ ✨

With light in her eyes and love spilling like droplets off her skin.

She was small but sacred.

A new angel, earth side.

Her little girl wings popped, sprung, sparkled and unfurled wide open as she grew.

She was glory and glitter and song and sugar.

She was beautiful in how she took up space.

She danced with butterflies.

Rocketed to the moon.

Talked to trees.

Shook her small hips and sang heart-hymns to the rhythm of “oh, oh, that wondrous child!”

**

Until one day it changed.

**

A darkness veiled her light.

A self consciousness covered her beauty.

Her shoulders caved in to protect her heart.

Suddenly ... she hurt.

When ~

This one didn’t approve.

That one yelled.

Another one left her out.

One called her nasty names.

The time of innocence faded.

Her spirit-roar turned silent.

She started to believe ~

I’m not enough

I’m not loved.

They don’t like me.

I don’t belong.

I’m ugly.

I’m awkward.

No one wants me around.

I’m alone.

I don’t matter.

I’m a bother.

I’m nothing.

I’m a loser.

Over and over in the shadows of her subconscious, the narrative swirled and settled deep in her core.

The years past.

The hurt spread.

The shame set into her bone marrow.

And then ~

She didn’t get the job.

He disrespected her body.

She spoke behind her back.

They didn't extend the invite.

Child hurt turned adolescent hurt twisted into adult hurt.

as so it goes.

The light dimmed.

The wings went down.

The walls came up.

The years continued to pass.

And the once innocent girl grew into a wounded woman.

Heart scars.

A false confidence. A fake bravado.

A full suit of armour.

A face behind a well crafted mask.

Life. In short...

As a mostly, modern mainstream female.

Sad but true.

Until one day.

Something stirred.

Something shifted.

Something shook.

And caused a crack.

That let some light in.

Which flooded her heart.

Which shone on her hurt.

Which pressed on the wound.

So she found the class, the path, the guru, the forum that would FIX the shit, and the shame, and the pain and happily promised a “new age ”!

And years past. And she thought she was on "the path".

Until another “one day”.

She woke from that slumber and it became searingly clear that to seek a “solution” was pure pollution to the precious part of her that HURT.

So she stopped.

Became still.

Put the pen down. And the journal away. Rolled the yoga mat up. Put the guru podcast on pause. Took a breath.

And she sat. in silence. with her self.

and - FELT.

Without judgement.

Without needing to fix.

With soft, tender, sweet space in her being.

She felt the hurt. The pain, The fury. The rage.

She swelled with tears.

And choked on grief.

And folded in to hold herself.

Until finally ~ a small voice spoke a note of soft relief

”You are safe.”

“Feel it all.

“Lean into the pain”

“Allow it”

"Let yourself be exactly as you are”

~

BE. YOU.

Her fight stopped.

Her war ceased.

Her heart stretched opened.

And once again, something stirred.

Something shifted.

Something shook the earth inside of her.

Until......She surrendered.

No more fixing. No more fighting to be someone.

No more proving.

No more seeking to be seen.

No more trying.

No more forcing.

No more strategy.

No more steps.

Just silence.

Just BEING.

With herself.

And her broken child heart. And her grief and all the glory and mess and miracle and magic of being H-U-M-A-N.

Purely. Powerfully. Potently. Human.

And that was the holy beginning of finding her way ~ To God.

To her magic.

To her Sacred Self.

To the wonder within.

And she continued to grow.

And...

Her wings expanded.

Her heart walls crumbled.

The light returned in her eyes.

Her pain transmuted into a power no one could take from her.

Vulnerable.

Open.

Honest.

Unmasked.

Pain, shame, beauty, brilliance - all of it.

She started feeling whole.

She made her way home.

She found the path so perfectly placed right INSIDE of the cracks and crevices and places of pain that became her road to love.

A once glorious girl

who curled into herself…

who grew into an armored women…

who broke open into her own BECOMING…

by allowing herself to BE exactly as she is.

The irony is ~

That is self love.

And this.

is the story of a girl who grew - who always knew, who found her way back - to being a Goddess.

She is you. (perhaps)

I am her. (of course)

We are one. (in ways)

Finding home.

Together.

❤️

Marin Bach-AntonsonComment